The Roof, the Roof, the Roof Is On Fire…5 min read

Writing to you from my new German friend’s house; his name is Haus.  Haus Tralia.

Didn’t think I could pull one more off did you? Don’t worry… I’m surprising myself too. This one is dedicated to the Montreal crew that have to live with this on a daily basis when I’m home. Also, a mention to the Australian roommates who find it funny now, but will eventually see the light, I’m sure.

I consider myself to be somewhat ingenious. To which extent? Well, that really depends on the situation but, enough to get by with the title of ingenious. To illustrate, I once made a rake out a soda can and a small stick! It worked for the task I needed accomplished and I’m not going to lie… I was pretty impressed with myself.

You can therefore see how I would enjoy taking on the persona of a real life MacGyver. I set off on a MacGyver quest last night when I decided I wanted to put steamed cauliflower in a dish I was cooking and realized that we did not have a steamer. I puttered around the kitchen, trying to come up with a concoction that would get the job done. After a bit of creative thinking, I came up with the idea of putting our metal strainer on top of a pot of boiling water using the pot lid as a cover on the strainer. I figured it would probably take more time to steam since the holes on the side of the strainer were still uncovered but the job would be done in a reasonable amount of time.

When my meat was almost done cooking, I checked on the cauliflower only to find it was still pretty hard. My timing was going to be all off! No golden spoon for me. Oh well…

Thankfully, I live with an engineer (Renn), so I had some brains backing up (or so I thought). When he walked in, he asked what I was doing and came up with the brilliant idea of wrapping the strainer with paper towel as to block the holes on the strainer. “Won’t that catch on fire?” I inquired. “Nah! Nah! It should be fine.” Renn replied.

My internal engineer told me this was probably a bad idea but the real engineer standing beside me actually was educated and qualified in the matter. “Go back to your little office inside the brain building and do some more studying internal engineer. You really blew it on this one.” I thought. 

Absolutely delighted about our invention, we celebrated with high fives and pictures! I kid you not. Proof:

To my surprise, the next 10 minutes of steaming went great. When I opened the lid, the cauliflower was softening and I was on my way to serving a great meal. Renn went back onto the porch and I stood in the doorway, conversing and keeping an eye on the kitchen. While listening in on a heated (foreshadowing) conversation, a thought came to my head: “Hmmm… Something smells like burning. I wonder what that could…. OH MY GOD! IT SMELLS LIKE BURNING!”

I didn’t skip a beat. I left my post at the doorway while the other carried on with the conversation without really clueing in on my quick exit. Our friend the paper towel decided it was dressing itself up with fire for a night out and let me tell you, it looked HOT! Flames engulfing my makeshift steamer, I had time to rip the paper towel off. The only problem is that after having done this brilliant move, I had a FLAMING PAPER TOWEL in my hand and had not thought ahead to what my next step would be.

Looking back on it, I should have thrown it in the sink and opened the water but, in the heat of the moment (literally), I decided that throwing the towel to the floor and jumping on it was the best and most gracious course of action. So there I was, yelling like a camel getting hot flashes: “OOUhh! AHHHH! FIREE!!!!” hopping on and off the fiery towel like a gorilla, when my roommates finally saw me through the window and I heard someone yell out: “Why are you dancing?” These Australians must think we Canadians have some strange cultural dances to think I was actually dancing…

In any case, my jumping extinguished the flames and no real damage was done. Renn, being the engineer, went straight for design model 2.0. Suffice to say I was a bit reticent to jump right back into it, but I was informed that testing is an inevitable part of a new design. I then realized that he had never told me what kind of engineering he was studying… Be wary! We modified the design a little bit and it did perform up to our standards this time…

Maybe I should get into engineering, it now sounds a lot more exciting than I had first envisioned. I’m also going to have to find a way to replicate burning paper towel in a steamer because it gave my cauliflower a fiery taste that was absolutely delicious.

Lesson learned: If someone tells you they are an engineer, DO NOT give them the benefit of doubt. You are just as much an engineer as they are in most household situations… Haha

Australianly yours,

Joël

Last Updated on December 22, 2020 by Joël Collin-Demers