So, there I was, standing at airport security. The bag I had packed hundreds of times before for other adventures without issue had been selected for inspection based on X-rays. The only thing different on this particular occasion was that I had hidden an engagement ring in my toiletry bag… I was planning to propose to my girlfriend during our trip to Spain and my toiletry bag seemed like the perfect hiding place for the ring. Now, I was getting the strange feeling I didn’t know what the definition of ‘perfect’ was and I might be forced to propose at the airport…
While my girlfriend scolded me for lengthening the oh-so enjoyable security screening process, the agent prompted me with a standard question that is now etched in my brain:
– Is this your bag sir?
– Yes…Yes, it is.
I turned back over to my girlfriend. My heart rate was rising:
– Why don’t you go check out some magazines or head to the gate? I’ll catch up to you.
– Don’t be silly. I’ll wait for you.
Stupid considerate girlfriend! I turned back to the agent as he continued:
– Do you mind if I look through your bag?
– (Yes… Yes, I do…) No, go ahead.
The agent proceeded to unzip my bag and look through the pockets, ruffling through my clothes. If I can travel with just a carry on, you can bet that’s what I’m doing! It looked as though he might bypass the toiletry bag altogether. My girlfriend spotted my toiletry bag and was getting increasingly annoyed:
– I can’t believe you put your toiletry bag in your carry on… You definitely have a bunch of liquids in there.
– (ARE YOU ACTIVELY TRYING TO RUIN YOUR PROPOSAL?!) I’ve gone through security with this toiletry bag hundreds of times. I specifically buy everything in containers under 100ml. That’s definitely not it. Are you sure you don’t want to head to the gate?
– Would you stop trying to get rid of me. He’s almost done.
– (Damn you and your polite ways!)
Thanks to my girlfriend’s cue, the agent picked up and unzipped my toiletry bag. The palms of my hands started to sweat.
He took out a toothbrush.
I thought: “My friend! Are you serious? I have to use that later!” I started to feel nauseous.
He took out my 3-blade razor.
What is this a barber shop? Vertigo started settling in.
He then looked around the bag as if looking through a filing cabinet. Someone please tell this man I do not have his tax return.
Then, he looked up at me. I put on my best “nothing to see here” face but there was no hiding it… Panic, or what could easily be interpreted as guilt, was painted on my face. Two excruciating seconds passed… I started bending down on one knee to get a practice run in. Yes, I would forever be the guy that proposed at the airport…
– All right! You’re all good. Thank you, sir. Have a wonderful trip.
– Excuse me, what?
– Have a great trip! I’ve repacked all your things.
– (YOU MEAN I AM FREE TO PROPOSE ELSEWERE?! Oh happy day!) Oh yeah, thank you. You have a great trip too… (Why did I say that?)
By this point, I had just gone through a small workout. My girlfriend could see something was amiss. I had to do something to steer the ship back on course… I knew the perfect remedy: Jerk mode.
– See! I told you I’ve never had any trouble using that bag!
And off into the land of petty bickering we went, forcing her to shed all hints of suspicion in exchange for a chance at winning this inconsequential jousting match.
I stopped at the restroom to freshen up after having experienced this pressure cooker. Washing up, I looked up at myself in the mirror. I erupted in genuine, wholehearted laughter until I noticed I was unsettling other patrons of this lovely facility… I did not want to be giving off “Joker” vibes in an airport… But, I had successfully navigated what pilots call a near miss and it was hilarious.
Although I had not yet decided where or when I would propose on our trip, I could now at least rule out the forced airport security proposal… I now knew the first criteria of what I would consider a successful proposal: I wanted to be the one to decide when it happened…
—————–
Check out Part 2 HERE!
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SubscribeLast Updated on January 21, 2022 by Joël Collin-Demers
6 thoughts on “The Proposal – Part 14 min read”
Love it! Well done and got a good chuckle ! Thx
A good read, and yes, I had a tickling sensation in my throat waiting to blow into a full roar, wondering what was going to happen next!
Good read, I was tempted to read ahead to see what happens, but kept my control.
You will get satisfaction soon enough! Thanks for reading.
That was a fun and exhilarating read Joël! Well done! I especially liked your response to the Airport Security fella – “You have a nice trip too!” WTF!!! And then, when you were caught laughing out loud in the restroom and likely had some strangers thinking you were nuts! I look forward to reading how the proposal goes down 😉 Good curiosity loop = cliff hanger 🙂
Love it and can’t believe it’s the first time I’ve heard about this!