Beat Up, Yet Up Beat4 min read

Writing to you from my Host-Tralia,

I know… The puns are getting pretty bad… I’m running out!

This week was my fourth week in Brisbane. I’ve been gone a month, people! I’m at the point where my roommates are comfortable blaming everything on the fact that I’m Canadian. I’m at a point where I can understand expressions like: “Macca’s (McDonalds)” and avro (afternoon). I can’t believe it’s already been a whole month!

Since my arrival, my mentality has been: “Take advantage of EVERY opportunity, you’re not here for long!” As much as that is true, I think that taking advantage of EVERY opportunity is catching up with me… I am here for pretty long… Last Saturday night, let’s just say I stayed in. Why? Let’s paint a portrait.

To start off, I got up last Monday and took care of my regular morning duties entrusted to me by Morning Joël, when I noticed, starting into the mirror that my eyes were freakishly red. Instantly, they started to hurt… Talk about body and mind harmony! Hmmm… Double you, Tea, Eff Mate! After some light Wikipedia reading, I was pretty sure I had Conjunctivitis, more commonly known as Pink Eye. I’m still puzzled as to how, when and where it came about… I’m just hoping it wasn’t because someone farted in my face while I slept, which is the only other way I’ve ever heard of someone getting Pink Eye… My main suspect though, was Evening Joël and his doings!

Next off, on Wednesday my roommates and I started off on a first round of light cleaning in the apartment as we were preparing for an apartment evaluation the coming week (the landlord gets a company to come check the apartment every now and then). Now, it’s important to note that I’m allergic to dust, usually forget about it and never take any precautions when cleaning. I usually feel like my nose and sinuses are inhabited by a giant, very well inflated, liquid leaking balloon for the next couple days after a dusty encounter. This was the case here.

To add, I was determined that on Thursday night I shan’t miss the organized international students’ event, no matter how I was feeling. It just so turns out that that event was a pub crawl… And that I had classes on Friday… I knew it was going to be a though day on Friday, but I didn’t want to miss this. Morning Joël could deal with it. Evening Joël was IN!  When all was said and done at around 3 am, I let Evening Joël make a stupid nevertheless chivalrous decision. I offered to walk a friend home without previous knowledge of where they resided (incredibly far, in case you’re wondering).

“DAMN YOU EVENING JOËL! You didn’t get home till 6 AM!  How am I supposed to concentrate in class (class at 9am by the way)? Your decision making privileges are revoked for a WEEK! Go to your part of the brain and think about what you’ve done!” Suffice to say, I participated as much as I could in my classes to make my environment dynamic enough to keep me awake… Hopefully, that got me some participation marks! Finally, I still had bruised knees from surfing the week before (and wiping out like an amateur) and my feet were blistered and scabbed up because on the weekend I had walked a lengthy… Length… in shoes that should not be used to walk lengthy lengths… (NEVER AGAIN).

So, when the propositions for a fun filled night came a knocking, I politely responded that a Red eyed, stuffy, blistered foot and battered knee Canadian stays home on Saturday nights as to be rested for his wood cutting duties on Sundays. The only noteworthy response I got to that comment was: “Mmmm… I wonder how battered knees would taste”.  Touché! Only today am I feeling back to normal (Tuesday). I think it’s time to slow things down… Plus my wallet feels thinner when I sit on it for some reason… Strange.

Lesson learned: Keep your evening self in check. He or she is most likely one of the most selfish people you’ll ever meet. NOTHING BUT TROUBLE I TELL YOU!

Australianly yours,

Joël xo

Last Updated on December 22, 2020 by Joël Collin-Demers